can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
