He kissed a someone with a penis
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
