The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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