I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am midnight drunk by noon
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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