So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
