Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.