seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.