ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dating After Heartbreak
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine