Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
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Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had