suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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