for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
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Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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