dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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