Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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