I'm really into asian looking animals
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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