The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
