You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
