WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your penis caused this!
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