He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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