K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
