If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
