i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
