My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
