im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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