Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
