if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
