I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize