well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
