Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
