my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize