i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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