NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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