a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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