they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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