She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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