i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
