i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
