yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
