I wannas sexs uuuuu
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.