Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I thought spray tan was a myth

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (206): View more from Washington

  You know, something that only happens in Jersey

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  (206): I thought spray tan was a myth (1-206): ? (206): You know, something that only happens in Jersey http://tfl.nu/gplq
  Replies (48) Good night (2803) Bad night (745)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail

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  (919): The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail http://tfl.nu/0pa7
  Replies (30) Good night (955) Bad night (6963)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

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  (403): SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :) http://tfl.nu/xxdx
  Replies (15) Good night (6047) Bad night (770)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same

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  (480): I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same http://tfl.nu/efli
  Replies (6) Good night (622) Bad night (3138)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i got excepted to unl lol

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You mean "accepted".

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  (402): i got excepted to unl lol (402): You mean "accepted". http://tfl.nu/3nr7
  Replies (76) Good night (1855) Bad night (6308)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

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  (501): Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog. http://tfl.nu/8mg1
  Replies (18) Good night (10624) Bad night (2211)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

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  (519): Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical. http://tfl.nu/sqyk
  Replies (12) Good night (6773) Bad night (2061)
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  (+10): View more from

  I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays

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  (+10): I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays http://tfl.nu/d92q
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (1781)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.

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  (706): I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4. http://tfl.nu/ltz1
  Replies (4) Good night (711) Bad night (1991)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?

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  (770): He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days? http://tfl.nu/yt8d
  Replies (12) Good night (1409) Bad night (609)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter

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  (571): Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter http://tfl.nu/fvpm
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (416)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Sadly that explains a lot.

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  (734): Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka. (1-734): Sadly that explains a lot. http://tfl.nu/6w41
  Replies (0) Good night (700) Bad night (326)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.

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  (412): we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon. http://tfl.nu/xou6
  Replies (6) Good night (487) Bad night (644)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo

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  (773): i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo http://tfl.nu/4n46
  Replies (2) Good night (321) Bad night (564)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.

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  (606): I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fffo
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (58)

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