Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.