At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
