Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
