My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
