Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
