Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
