let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
