like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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