Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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