So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
