Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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