did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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