So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
