so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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