I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
