Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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