I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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