Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
