my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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