i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The power of my boobs compel you
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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