gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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