"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
