meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to make out with him forever
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize