dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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