Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
