It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
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I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
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I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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