The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
