Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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