Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
